SERVICES

Couples & Relationship Therapy

Madison, CT & Online

Couples Therapy

Compassionate Couples Therapy Rooted in Interpersonal Neurobiology

“Learning to listen relationally, listen with cool heads and clear boundaries, listen with the quietness of the heart and the gentleness of the body, means having a self so developed it can afford to yield.”

― Terry Real

I understand how vulnerable it is to come in for help as a couple. When couples come to see me they are often feeling little hope and are on the brink of separation. It's incredibly challenging when you feel unsupported and unheard by your partner. Instead of coming together to tackle the issues at hand, it may seem like you're both on opposing sides, in conflict or disconnected and withdrawn. You’ve likely made numerous attempts to address these concerns. It feels entrenched and finding a resolution that feels satisfying for both of you remains elusive. 

However, through our work together you can repair. I create a safe, supportive atmosphere where both partners can feel heard and respected, facilitating open dialogue and mutual understanding embedded in a sense of connection.

We prioritize building trust to help you navigate difficult conversations with empathy and care. When sitting together I tell the truth with love and am not a neutral party, taking maladaptive behaviors head on. As we explore your relationship pattern I use coaching to provide guidance, feedback and teach you very actionable skills to break negative cycles.

I  believe that healthy relationships are foundational to a fulfilling life. By exploring how your brain and body process emotions and reactions, we can work together to help you reconnect and heal.

  • Each couple is different so I will tailor the work to your specific needs. Some elements that are commonly incorporated along the way are:

    •  Assessing your relationship history, dynamics, and goals which may include meeting with each partner separately after the initial consultation together

    • Providing clear feedback on what I see and outlining a path for your goals with a time frame - typically 6 months (but may vary from 3-12 months) every 2 weeks for 90 minutes

    • Learning self regulation skills because our brains and bodies will only integrate new information and experiences in a productive way when we feel safe

    • Diving into psychoeducation on the brain

    • Engaging in trauma recovery work

    • Identifying entrenched relationship patterns 

    • Practicing exercises that will interrupt those patterns

    • Learning and integrating actionable skills that will create new healthy patterns

    • Developing a plan for your future

    • Communication Breakdown 

    • Life Transitions and Stress 

    • Trust and Betrayal 

    • Feeling Disconnected

    • Parenting Challenges

    • Cultural Differences

    • A Crisis of Values

    • Infidelity 

    • Physical and Emotional Intimacy and Connection 

    • Conflict Resolution

    • Intergenerational Patterns of Trauma and Resilience Presenting in the Relationship

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Premarital & Pre-Commitment Counseling

Building a Stronger Foundation for Your Future

“Premarital therapy is an investment in the relationship, helping couples develop essential skills that will support them throughout their married life.”

― John Gottman

Congratulations on your upcoming union! As you embark on this exciting journey, therapy is a supportive and proactive approach that can help you and your partner enhance or build a solid foundation for your thriving relationship.

Couples who come to my office for premarital or pre-commitment therapy often have a variety of reasons, including:

  • Cherishing their Love: They feel fortunate to have found the deep connection they’ve longed for and are committed to maintaining that bond.

  • Navigating Transitions: They may feel stressed about the significant changes ahead, which can subtly impact not just their partnership but also their relationships with parents and families of origin.

  • Honoring Interfaith, Intercultural and Interracial Differences: They face unique challenges when their backgrounds, traditions, or beliefs differ. I help partners recognize that these differences can be a source of strength, offering opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

  • Blended Family Support: They seek guidance on navigating their partnership and blended family dynamics.

  • Prevention Oriented: They recognize that nurturing their relationship is essential for long-term joy, and they believe starting early is the best way to strengthen it.

  • They have been Gifted the Time: They and their loved ones view their therapy sessions as a valuable gift to each other before their wedding.

  • Research shows that couples who engage in such counseling often experience stronger relationships, improved communication, and higher satisfaction levels. Couples who participate in joint therapy are 50% less likely to divorce compared to those who do not. By addressing potential challenges before they arise, you can enhance your relationship's resilience and deepen your connection.

  • I take a warm, strengths-based, approach rooted in interpersonal neurobiology. I believe that helping couples attune to their unique flow between each other's brain and body processes can empower them to navigate their relationship more effectively and foster lasting joy and connection.

  • 1. Creating a Safe Space

    We prioritize creating a nurturing environment where both partners feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. This trust allows for open communication, essential for a healthy relationship.

    2. Understanding Your Unique Dynamics

    Through guided discussions and tailored assessments I customize with Prepare/Enrich, a tool, assessing the different aspects of a couple's relationship, we’ll explore your individual backgrounds, values, and relationship patterns. By identifying your strengths as a couple, we can build upon what already works well in your relationship.

    3. Developing Essential Skills

    We incorporate science-based techniques to enhance communication, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution. You'll learn how to: celebrate your strengths, effectively manage stress and navigate disagreements, fostering a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives.

    4. Building a Vision for Your Future

    Together, we’ll explore your shared goals and aspirations for your marriage. By aligning your visions and discussing your values, you’ll create a roadmap to enhance and maintain your connection, for a fulfilling partnership.

  • The sessions will be tailored to your unique goals. Based upon a thorough, initial assessment and your goals we will choose several key areas to address your needs more deeply. Each of these areas is grounded in a compassionate, evidence-based, approach to enhance emotional well-being and strengthen your relationship.

    Communication Styles

    We work on expressing your needs and feelings in constructive ways. Effective communication fosters connection and understanding.

    Conflict Resolution

    Together, we develop strategies to navigate disagreements with empathy. You can learn how to hold each other in warm regard even when you disagree and learn to repair with actionable skills.

    Financial Planning

    Discussing finances is crucial for alignment. We explore how to manage finances together and harmonize your financial goals.

    Family of Origin Exploration

    We examine your expectations around family involvement and parenting styles. Understanding your backgrounds can illuminate current dynamics.

    Religion, Faith and Spiritual Beliefs

    We explore how your religion, faith and spiritual beliefs influence your relationship and personal growth, promoting understanding and respect.

    Intergenerational Patterns of Trauma and Resilience

    We explore how family of origin trauma and resilience influences your relationship to promote healing. This allows you to live in the present with your partner, making conscious choices to harness resilience and break old familial patterns of pain.

    Shared Values

    Identifying your core values will guide your marriage. We discuss how these values shape your decisions and interactions.

    Friends and Community

    We discuss the impact of family and friends on your relationship, exploring how to balance these connections with your partnership. Nurturing a sense of belonging in your communities significantly enhances your individual well-being and that of your partnership.

    Physical and Emotional Intimacy and Romance

    We explore your needs and desires, fostering a deeper emotional and physical connection.

    Cultural Differences

    Acknowledging, respecting and cherishing cultural differences can enrich your relationship. We explore how these differences influence your perspectives and values.

    Long-Distance Relationships

    We address the unique challenges of maintaining a long-distance relationship, focusing on connection and communication.

    Role Transitions

    Life transitions can shift relationship dynamics. We discuss how to navigate these changes together, whether it's parenthood, career shifts, or aging.

    Stress Management and Self-Care

    We create personalized strategies for managing stress and prioritizing self-care, recognizing its impact on your relationship.

    Emotional Engagement

    Enhancing emotional engagement is key to a thriving relationship. We explore ways to deepen your emotional connections.

    Relationship Roles

    Understanding each partner’s roles within the relationship can clarify expectations and enhance cooperation. I can help you make the implicit explicit, allowing you to define the unique way you approach roles and foster a sense of teamwork.

    Leisure Activities

    We explore how both separate and shared leisure activities can strengthen your bond.

    Partner Styles and Habits

    We examine your styles and habits to improve daily interactions and enhance harmony.

    Rituals of Connection

    We build upon and create new rituals for connection which foster intimacy and reinforce your partnership’s foundation.

    Life Goals and Dreams

    We discuss your individual and shared life goals, ensuring that your aspirations support each other.

  • Depending on your goals and schedules, premarital/pre-commitment therapy is typically offered as:

    8-12 sessions every other week for 90 minutes

    a 3 day Retreat, in person on the CT Shoreline, 5 session hours per day at a private beach front property, with catered meals

    a 3 day Intensive online, 5 session hours per day, from the comfort of your home

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Relationship Intensives

For Couples & Dyads

“The Brain is a social organ, and our relationships with one another are not a luxury but an essential nutrient for our survival.”

― Daniel Siegel, M.D.

Are you seeking a more immersive experience in your relationship, or do you feel a sense of urgency to address pressing issues? I specialize in intensive treatments for dyads, whether you’re a couple, family members, or business partners. While some come to establish a strong foundation or improve their connection, many arrive in the midst of a crisis.

  • The intensive program is tailored to meet your specific goals. Together, we’ll explore the history of your relationship, assess patterns—both strengths and chronic maladaptive behaviors—and identify areas for growth. Through various interventions such as experiential exercises and psychodrama, we’ll work to heal past wounds and create healthier dynamics.

    You’ll uncover strategies that may be undermining your goals and learn how to implement effective communication techniques and connection-building tools. While insight is an essential first step, lasting change requires actionable skills that I can teach you together.

    While not every relationship can be salvaged, this intensive offers a valuable opportunity for repair and clarity about your next steps. I will provide you with support and guidance to navigate this journey toward relational health.

  • Consider an intensive if you are:

    • Traveling a distance for therapy

    • Juggling busy schedules that make regular sessions challenging

    • Jumpstarting your therapy journey

    • Contemplating separation or divorce and seeking clarity

    • Transitioning in your relationship (e.g., getting married, moving in together, becoming parents, or starting a business)

    • Experiencing a relationship rupture (e.g., dealing with a recent affair) and seeking expedited healing

    • Rekindling a friendship after a traumatic ending

    Dyads can choose from full-day, or two-day intensive formats. For more information and to discuss how I can tailor an intensive for your needs, please reach out.

  • Through lecture, role-play, small group exercises and personal work, this workshop will teach all participants practical skills to improve their relationship, develop compassion and intimacy.

    Together you will learn to:

    • Identify The Losing Strategies in relationships

    • Build Healthy Self-Esteem and Boundaries

    • Identify entrenched relational patterns

    • Listen with curiosity

    • Create a self-regulation toolbox

    • Practice The Winning Strategies in relationships

    • Move away from reactivity into connection and relational joy

    This workshop is open to all individuals and couples.

    LEARN MORE →

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Friendship Therapy Intensives

“Friendship is a love story. Different from romantic or filial love, it’s its own unique love story. Making friends is the first free choice relationship we have as kids. Our friends provide community and continuity in an ever-changing world. Our lifelong friends are our witnesses. They accompany us through the trials and tribulations of lovers that come and go, job changes, family rifts, births, deaths, and recoveries. And we are a witness for them, commiserating or celebrating together over morning coffee or late-night phone calls.” Esther Perel

Friendship Therapy Intensives are specialized, focused sessions designed to help individuals and dyads navigate the complexities of friendships. These intensive experiences aim to foster deeper connections, address conflicts, and enhance communication skills in a supportive environment.

Embark on a transformative journey toward more fulfilling friendships. Friendship Therapy Intensives provide the tools and insights needed to build lasting connections.

  • During these intensives, participants will engage in a series of guided discussions and interactive exercises tailored to their unique goals and friendship dynamics.

    • Conflict Resolution: Learn effective strategies to address misunderstandings and conflicts with your friends

    • Enhanced Communication: Develop tools to promote healthy boundaries, express feelings and needs clearly with friends.

    • Building Trust: Engage in activities designed to strengthen trust and emotional intimacy in friendships.

    • Personal Growth: Along with actionable tools, gain insights into your own friendship patterns, why they developed and how they impact your relationships

    • Duration: Intensives typically span one to three days, allowing for immersive exploration and learning.

    • Dyad or Individual Sessions: Tailored to meet the needs of individuals or dyads seeking to improve their friendships or heal from a rupture.

    • Follow-Up Support: Participants will receive resources and 2 follow-up sessions, typically after one month and 3 months to continue their growth beyond the intensive.

  • These intensives are ideal for anyone looking to improve their friendships, whether you're facing specific challenges, seeking to deepen existing connections, or wanting to enhance your social skills. Some reasons friends come in are:

    • Navigating Major Life Changes such as a new job, promotion, marriage, break up and family planning

    • Conflict

    • Enhancing Connection

    • Mutual grief and loss work

    • Support

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